Twitterings

A man (with guns) walks into a school & kills (with guns) 10 people. The NRA & complicit Republican shills that ear… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
When you accidentally drop glitter and a box of plastic souvenirs, stolen from a tacky pop-up shop in Soho, upon a… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
@realDonaldTrump yOu siMply Don'T undErStanD HOw tO use cApiTAl leTteRs Or apOstropHes. PretTy Much Says it All.
That awkwardness you feel when you mis-read a news headline and momentarily picture a dalek being roofied in the t… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Locked myself in the bathroom & have been wallowing in the bath for 2 hrs to escape any mention of the… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Coming from the man who accepts huge NRA donations and supports the arming of every fucking mental psycho in his ow… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
I've received a billion (roughly) junk emails this month; all from companies rushing to tell me that GDPR complianc… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
First @theresa_may fucked Britain, then she goes out of her way to try and slice it up and kill it. The personifica… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
It's because not enough U.S. teachers have anti-aircraft munitions. Oh, hello sarcasm, I wasn't expecting to see y… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
@calabra46 Can it decline any further? Here's hoping not!
Best editorial opening line. Ever. "Donald Trump’s feelings toward Internet-retail giant Amazon are roughly on par… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
A claim that should bemuse and bewilder but, since the stolen election of @realDonaldTrump and the insanity of… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
When your grandad waddles into the room, with his dressing gown open in all the wrong places, ranting about the war… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Imagine how glorious this corrupt debacle would be if, after the puppet installed her own 10 puppets, the next deba… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Some bloke I've never met, isn't walking his daughter (who I've also never met) down the aisle, at her wedding to s… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
John Bercow accused of being honest and stating the bloody obvious. Two things banned in the Houses of Parliament.… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
When Americans miss @BarackObama, considering what they now have in @realDonaldTrump, us Brits have an equivalent m… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Little known factoid, for all you Tweeps out there: When a man, drowning in his own faeces, sinks below the surface… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Little know factoid, for all you Tweeps out there: When a man, drowning in his own faeces, sinks below the surface,… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
The last 2 years in UK & US politics has been like watching never-ending seasons of a Netflix crime drama; where th… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
With each day that passes & every fumbled tumble the Tories make toward #Brexshit, @theresa_may seems to be becomin… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
I've lost my rag so many times this week, I'm not entirely sure how many more rags I've left to lose; or, indeed, w… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
How low in the pecking order of skill-sets, negotiating tactics and capabilities does one actually have to be, in o… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
RT @BoRhapMovie: The only thing more extraordinary than their music is their story. Watch the new #BohemianRhapsody teaser trailer now, in…
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #ABTV #WATON
It seems as it Twitter admin folk really don't like anagrams.
#BREAKING: Failed comedian & washed-up clown has public nervous breakdown & outlandish hallucination, following an… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
I love it when the vapid & dazed, like @TomiLahren, @seanhannity & @DonaldJTrumpJr, think they've created an intell… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
@realDonaldTrump If the media picked you up, dipped you in a vat of horse shit, rolled you in rotting hay, made you… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
I don't understand, @DonaldJTrumpJr, why you didn't slaughter it and cut off it's tail before you posed for yet ano… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
The referendum was a corrupt manipulation of the public, in order to placate your puppeteers, escape EU tax laws fo… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Captain steers ship in to iceberg and asks passengers to trust her to deliver the best sinking ever. Please resign… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Gotta love it when over-the-hill, racist paedophiles try to take a moral high ground. Someone needs a wee lesson in… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
I've capitulated. I wish I was hirsute enough to be able to have a wank rag on my head like @seanhannity. I desper… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
I've been avidly watching the unraveling, unrelenting and unrepentant rise of the right wing for to long now. Time… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Am I the only one who thought Gina Haspel's facial twitches, as she was searching for acceptable answers about her… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
When any partcipant is caught cheating in any race, sports or otherwise - a fine simply doesn't cut it. Disqualific… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
As it slowly becomes clear that the Trump & Brexit experiments are collapsing, I'm funneling all my spare cash into… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #ABTV #WATON
Just spotted: @kimguilfoyle, moments after having just stroked @DonaldJTrumpJr's hair. #GreasyTwat
Now, hear him repeating his master DJ Khaled's mantra of him not...oh bollocks; I've just thrown up a little. bustle.com/p/donald-trump…
Kinda makes you think, does @BorisJohnson want to leave the single market because single things just ain't his thin… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
...which is entirely understandable; as I did ask this expert's opinion before I kicked her squarely in her nuts (w… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
It's going to be immense. Two world leaders. Both hated by the entire planet. Both love cheese burgers. Both ne… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
...and yet the pretend leader of the biggest terrorist organisation on the planet, the @GOP, still roams free. Fuck. twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…
Yet, the rest of the world remains hostage in this never-ending circus of fuck-wittery. twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…
When you post a Tweet and spot an autocorrect spelling mishap, but don't delete it to correct, as you feel that it… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Once the Trump's are indicted & go to trial, I think we should show mercy & waive any kind of incarceration. Inste… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Dear @theresa_may, @Jacob_Rees_Mogg, @michaelgove, @DavidDavisMP & the rest of your incompetent gang of Machiavelli… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Oh no! How can this be? We sent our best man to convince @realDonaldTrump that withdrawing would be a disaster...h… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. The most stupid thing he did wa… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
When you drop acid and notice that the blunt, grey pencil on your desk has been trying to gain control of the stati… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…

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