Ode to Summer Plums
I’m grateful for these summer days,
I’m thankful for the sun.
I’m pleased to feel the heat it brings
To each and everyone.
But there’s one thing, I must protest,
That makes me out of sorts;
The stress and the unpleasantness
That happens in my shorts.
Of course, I’m talking sticky nads.
Yes, wet and sweaty balls.
More moisture than has ever surged
Across Niagara Falls.
Sweet ladies, you don’t understand
Man’s trouble and his grief.
All your bits are tucked away
In lacy, finespun briefs.
I’m fighting back, I make a stand
So please don’t feel dismay
It must begin, from here on in:
They’re going on display.
My main concern is simply said:
To stop perspiring floods.
Perchance to feel a mellow breeze
Flow sweetly on my spuds.