Transexual Blues

I was born a pretty girl, 
A beauty hard to hide
An 80s perm, tits so firm, 
Beyoncé’s huge backside.
 
It felt OK on summer days,
But something wasn’t right;
A monthly cork with achy norks 
Left me quite uptight.
 
Sitting on the lavatory,
I viewed my furry cup,
An amputee, who yearned to see 
Me pee whilst standing up.
 
Some called it “penis-envy, girl!”, 
Some called it “Devil’s work!”.
But all I cared was for more hair,
More than a Russian Turk.
 
And so I set out on my quest
To make this change to man.
I got my trout turned inside out
And called myself Big Stan.
 
So here I sit, years down the line
All stubble and beer guts.
Drinking late, with tranny mates
Comparing Velcroed nuts.
 
I was born a pretty girl,
I’ve gone from boobs to balls.
But it’s Sod’s Law, all I yearn for:
To get in ladies’ smalls.

About the Author

Benedict Francis

Benedict Francis

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